Labor and Delivery

It has taken me several weeks {my new little guy is quite demanding} but I am finally going to share my birth story. I'm gonna split it up into several posts... and of course I'm gonna start with labor and delivery!!!

And I'll warn you right now, this is gonna be a LOOOOOOONG post. And there won't be any pictures until the end. Don't say I didn't warn you! :o)

It all started on October 16th. Mitch was at work {he works graveyards}, and I was tired but kept putting off going to bed. I finally went to bed at midnight after sitting in Riley's nursery for about an hour.

I was sleeping peacefully {for an entire hour and fifty minutes} when I woke up at 1:50 in the morning. I felt a sharp twinge, and actually said ouch as I sat up in bed. I felt a little damp, and was making my way to the bathroom, when the dampness turned into me being SOAKED!

I just kept thinking OH MY GOD, my water just broke. All my sisters had their water break at the hospital after hours of contractions with all 6 of my nieces and nephews, and my water had just broke in the middle of the night before a single contraction.

I just kept saying oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, over and over again, as I grabbed a towel, wrapped it around me like a diaper, and wobbled downstairs to grab the phone and call Mitch.

It felt so weird to say "babes, my water just broke". He said he would be right home. He called me again as he sped 90 mph to get home. He wanted to see if anything had happened in the five minutes since he had talked to me last. :o)

I called my best friend Andrea, and told her it was time. She was coming from California, and had a three hour drive ahead of her. Then I tried calling my mom, who had her phone off.... OFF!!! I left her a couple messages.

I was shaking so badly. I wanted Mitch to get home. And I decided to take a shower while waiting for him. About 5 minutes into my shower {which was about 10 minutes after my water broke} the contractions started. They were immediately 4 to 5 minutes apart.

I was still in the shower when Mitch got home, which freaked him out. He didn't think I should be showering while in labor, but I was covered in amniotic fluid, and felt gross, so I didn't care what he thought.

He was totally freaking out, asking what needed to be done. The funny thing is, that I had made sure everything was completely packed, sitting by the front door and ready to go the night before. So he had everything loaded into the car, and was frantically pacing before I wad even ready to go.

Hello.... I had to put lotion on after my shower. Have you ever tried to put lotion on while leaking and having contractions every few minutes???? Not all that easy.

I was calm by then. As we drove to the hospital, Mitch kept freaking out, and I was calming him down.

We checked in at the hospital exactly one hour after my water broke. The contractions were starting to get more intense by then. I had to use my breathing exercises pretty much from the beginning.

They had me change into a gown, hooked up an IV line, strapped on the baby monitor stuff and then they checked me.

I was 100% effaced, but only dilated to 1 cm. SERIOUSLY?????

It was gonna be a long labor, and since my water broke already, I was not allowed to walk around. Grrrrrrr.

The contractions were getting worse. Mitch kept asking what he could do. Did I want my laptop? NO! What about a massage? NO! My heating pad? NOT NOW! Did I wanna play with his iPhone? NO! How about some TV? NO! I'll get you your ipod. NO!

I didn't want ANY of my "comfort" things I had brought with me. I just wanted Mitch to sit next to me.

The hospital had a birthing ball, which I thought I would want {I really loved mine my whole pregnancy} but about 15 minutes into using it, I threw it on the floor. Then I decided to give the heating pad I had brought a try. 5 minutes later, I was telling Mitch to get the stupid thing off of me.

Nothing was making me feel any better.

Then things got worse. Nobody ever told me about the shaking and the vomiting. It was horrible, and not something I was expecting.

The doctor on call finally came in around 5 am. He told me that my doctor would be there in the morning around 9 o'clock. And I would still be in the early parts of labor, because first time mothers typically have on average 12-15 hours of labor. So I still had a LONG ways to go.

Yeah, he seriously said that to me!!! I already know all this stuff, and yet he finds it necessary to remind me??? SERIOUSLY!? I wanted to throw something at him!!!

My contractions were about 2 to 3 minutes apart by then, and lasting at least 1 minute each. They were very intense and I was on the verge of asking for drugs, even though I went in there determined to do it naturally.

That determination went straight out the door by 6 am. They gave me something in my IV. I'm not sure what it was, but when Andrea got there a few minutes later I was relaxed and lightheaded. Even smiling.

Yeah, that lasted a whole 15 minutes. Then the pain was back full force. How could it be this bad so early on??? I didn't know how much more I could take.

They finally checked me again around 7 am. Two different nurses checked me three times!!!! They couldn't believe I was dilated to 6 cm already.

Things got really intense, and though I didn't think it was possible, I got even shakier. The contractions were so painful, and I squeezed Mitch's hand and the bed rail VERY tightly for every one.

Andi kept laughing at the terrified look on Mitch's face. This picture is her trying to capture that look!



I wanted to sit up, and the nurse kept making me lay down. It made the contractions soooooo much worse. But they weren't picking up the baby's heartbeat when I sat up. So they decided to attach an internal monitor to the top of the baby's head.

I got one more dose of drugs, which didn't do a thing. And was ready to cave again and get an epidural, when they checked me again. I was 10 cm!! I went from 6 to 10 in ONE hour! It was time to push.

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!!

Pushing was awful! OK, I'm sure nobody who has gone through it will say it was anything but awful, but seriously, I was so ready for it all to be over!

I peed while pushing {no poop, although honestly I would NOT have been even the tiniest bit embarrassed, I had it all hanging out, and didn't care AT ALL who seen me, or what kind of funky noises I was making} so the nurse had to insert a catheter to empty my bladder.

I freaked out, I've had one of those before, and they hurt. She said she would do it during a contraction, so I wouldn't even notice. SHE WAS WRONG!!! Later Mitch and Andrea said that was the loudest I screamed, they thought I was gonna go through the roof.

Andrea and her 5 month old son Parker were there for the whole thing, even though I swore Mitch would be the only one in the room with me for delivery. When the time came, I really didn't care who was there.

I had to count to ten for every push. At one point Andi decided to count with me, hahaha, BAD idea. That was one of the only times I snapped. I was already counting in my head, and she started counting very slowly when I was already at four. It was quite distracting, and I screamed at her to SHUT UP!!!!

She went and hid in the corner, scared I was gonna kick her out after that, lol!

I think I might have scared any women in the rooms next to me. I pushed and pushed and let out a scream after each one.

I had an oxygen mask on, and I wanted it off, and I remember I was very thirsty, and kept asking Mitch for water.

I pushed for an hour and a half. I thought it was never gonna end. But at 9:52am, Riley was born!



Eight hours!! That is how long my labor was!!! Nobody was expecting me to delivery him until later that afternoon or evening. I think I shocked everyone with how quick my labor was. Although I will say that when you are the one going through it, 8 hours still feels long, lol!

Mitch was all into the gory stuff that I thought was gonna gross him out. He kept checking out the head as it was crowning, and he was excited to cut the umbilical cord. Check him out!!!



The nurse almost took him, but my doctor told her to give him to mommy. This is the first time I held my little boy!



A few minutes later they took him to weigh him and stuff. I heard Mitch say he was 6 lbs 7 1/2 oz. I was contracting and in the process of delivering the placenta, but when I heard that I perked right up, asking the nurse what he weighed, because I didn't believe Mitch. He was right!! I looked over at Andi, and was sooo happy! Everyone was wrong, and I WAS RIGHT!!! All the people that said my belly was huge, and my baby was gonna be a BIG baby were wrong. Haha! I knew my tummy size had nothing to do with how big Riley was, and am still quite happy to prove those people wrong!!! :o)

He was 19 1/2 inches long, and his apgar score was 9/9. Yay, healthy baby!!!





They wrapped Riley up, and gave him back to me. He was making the funniest little growling noise. Everyone was laughing. I starting crying, {I was cramping really badly, and wanted to curl up, but I tore, and the doctor was stitching me up} when Riley heard my cries, he stopped and just stared at me. It was the sweetest thing ever!

Me and Mitch are mommy and daddy now, so weird!

Belly Shots {37 Weeks}

Full Term.

At 37 weeks I am officially full term.

It's kinda weird, suddenly all the "doctors orders" have changed.

Everything that was bad before 37 weeks, is now considered good. Like contractions. Those are a good thing now. YUCK! They are no longer a horrible sign that could mean a premature baby. Now they are very normal {although painful and uncomfortable} signs of labor.

And labor is a good thing now. Although in my case {no matter how terribly sick I am of being pregnant} I really want him to stay in there for a few more weeks.

And my doctor says things like "Everything looks great Kim, we'll see you next week... if your still pregnant then."

Weird.

I was beginning to think {as was Mitcheal} that I was not going to get around to taking another belly shot picture of me {and us}.

I really haven't been in the mood to take any pictures. And you know Mitch is NEVER in the mood to take these pictures with me, which is why I was shocked that he hounded me about it so much.

But yesterday I just did it!!! I got out the damn tripod, and we took the pictures.

All done.

I wanna get all the ones we took together, maybe make them black and white, and edit them some, and frame them in colorful frames for Riley's room. There are 5 total, from 13 weeks to 37 weeks. I think they'll look nice framed in there. We did a different pose together every time. And even though Mitch threw a big fit every time we took the pictures, I'm REALLY glad we did the "us" pictures along with the "me" pictures. When all is said and done, they are something that I really like having. And I think he does too!!

Anyways, here they are.

Me....



And us.



And since they are the last ones, I thought I'd throw in a couple other ones that I liked.



Including one where I'm actually looking at the camera!



So that's it. Babes is up, so maybe I'll see if he wants to detail the car today. So we can install the car seat.

35 Weeks!

Today I am 35 weeks pregnant!!!

That means I have only 5 more weeks until my due date.

That is barely over a month. Yeah, I'm having an oh my goodness, heart racing, totally freaking out moment!

He could come as soon as right now, to at the MOST 7 weeks from now. I've been wrapped up in absolutely nothing but shopping for him the past 2 days. My list of things I need is getting shorter and shorter.

I am sooooooo beyond excited. Me and Mitch have been through so much pain and loss trying to bring this child into the world, and it seems unreal that in a few short weeks we will finally be parents. I really don't think it's gonna sink in until he is in our arms.

My house has become overrun with baby stuff, in every room. But it's just stuff. The baby is still inside my belly. Kicking, pushing, hiccuping, squirming around. Making sure his poor mommy {that'd be meeeeeee} is inflicted with every possible uncomfortable, sometimes painful, and occasionally yucky pregnancy symptom imaginable. Seriously! But you know what? It's all worth it. I cried the other day thinking about how worth it it really is.

We are taking a 6 week childbirth education class. And last week {week 2} we had to bring along something to use as a focal point during our breathing exercises.

I stressed out the whole week over what I was gonna bring. You really have to understand, I am the kinda person that analyzes every little detail. Everything has to have a story, has to have meaning, has to be perfect. Ordinary won't do. I like handmade, custom, personalized, unique... the list goes on and on.

Everything I thought of bringing was immediately shot down by myself, of course. It was all unmeaningful. How were those items going to help me during my labor??? Then I realized what would help me.

Remembering that it is worth it. Not forgetting that it is my little Riley that will be causing all the labor pain. That sounds kinda bad, but I have been through a lot of pain, both physical and emotional with my miscarriages. And I remember thinking as I was crying and screaming into the pillow, trying not to wake Mitch up, that it was all for nothing. It was hours of excruciating pain, and what I had when it was all over, wasn't a baby, it was nothing. The pain and emptiness I felt was unlike anything I have ever experienced before.

I took months to heal. My second miscarriage wasn't nearly as hard as my first. It was very early, only a week after I had found out I was expecting again. But it made me feel twice as hopeless. Was I ever going to be a mommy?? It really didn't feel like it, and nobody in my life understood. They couldn't. The only ones who I could talk to were the few bloggy friends who were going through the same thing. It was hard.

Do you get what I meant now, when I said that Riley will be causing me all the pain? It is a good thing, because focusing on that fact, remembering that I have been through similar pain, that was all for nothing, and that this time I will have him {my little boy} when it is all over. Instead of feeling empty and hopeless, I will be full of more love than I can even imagine.

I made a necklace after my first miscarriage. It has a tag with my due date, and a butterfly with the birthstone from that month in it. It is my way of remembering my first child that I never got a chance to hold, but that I loved very much.




That necklace and a framed ultrasound picture of little Riley are my focal point items. They represent everything I just wrote here. They help me remember that it is all worth it. That I can handle whatever pain that comes, now and later. Because it's all for him. I love him so much.

Belly Shots {30 Weeks}

Hi!!!!!!

I missed last month belly shots. So I have NONE {zero, zilch, nothing} for 6 months, so so sad!!!

Oh well. Here is 30 weeks {aka 7 months}.




I painted the nursery, and re-finished a dresser {for Riley's nursery of course!} I had my baby shower, made a darling bulletin board, shopped, and more! Plus I finally got a new camera!!!

So I'll be posting pictures and stuff soon. But I wanted to quickly get this posted, since tomorrow I will be 31 weeks! I am getting so close!!! :o)

Belly Shots {22 Weeks}

I have seriously been neglecting my blog! I'm SOOOO sorry! I have been busy cleaning, organizing, decorating, and crafting. And I have NO plans whatsoever to stop. I have so much to do before Riley gets here. But I will try to share what I'm doing a little more!!! :o)

I even slacked off on taking my belly shot. It's 2 weeks late. OOPS!!! But I got it in under the 5 month mark. So my plan to take one every month is still in tact.

Here is 22 Weeks!!!!!





I am totally getting bigger. I'm MORE than halfway there.

Our little guy has been quite active the past few days. And Daddy finally got to feel him kick this morning. A bunch of times! He has been asking me "when??" everyday. And patiently putting his hand on my belly, hoping the little guy will cooperate. Mitch wasn't home last night when Riley was doing his thing. And I was bummed, because I just knew it would finally be strong enough to be felt on the outside too.

So this morning when I was telling Mitch about it, he started up again. I told him to just rest his hand there, and wait. He didn't feel the first two movements. But then on the third one, he looked at me before I said anything, and told me that he felt him!!! He was right. Then the little boy went crazy with the acrobatics.
He really made mommy and daddy smile today! :o)

It's a........

So, you Facebook pals of mine already know, and for everybody else, I am sorry I didn't post yesterday as promised. I was SOOOOO tired. I went to bed very very early. And didn't scan the ultrasound pics into the computer until this morning.

But I didn't wanna make you wait any longer, so I marched my butt upstairs a few minutes ago, and scanned away!

Here they are!!!


Oh, and in case you didn't figure it out,

IT'S A BOY!!!

Our little Riley Conner Young. He was VERY cooperative during the ultrasound. The tech said so herself. I layed there just smiling at the big screen TV on the wall, watching him inside my tummy. He is healthy and perfect!!! Our official estimated due date is October 23rd. I'm just about halfway there!!!

Falling Down the Stairs

So, I told you all I fell down the stairs. Me and my little Cokamo are OK. But I still wanted to share my story, since I took pictures and everything.

So, quick version of the days events... I woke up, I walked halfway down my stairs, and fell the second half. I caught my leg up behind me, and bruised my leg, and my butt. Ouchie. It really hurt, I cried.

When I called my doctor, they told me to go to the ER, since it was the weekend {of course} just to be safe.

I felt so silly. I knew we were OK. Just a bit sore. But I still had to spend a few hours at the hospital. I got out my camera, and me and Mitch took some pictures for my blog!!!

Here I am, gown and all!!! That thing was huge and confusing, and the nurse had to help me put it on, because I couldn't figure it out for the life of me.

I looked too happy for a hospital visit in that first picture, so I took a "fake sad" picture.

Me sooooooo sad.... sad that I was forced to go to the hospital after my clumsy ass fell down the freakin' stairs!!!


No hospital visit is complete without a bracelet.


And of course we have crabby Mitcheal in the corner. He got really cranky when I told him that we had make a trip to the ER.

Really cranky!!!


Then he told me I was not allowed to sleep upstairs anymore. Oh, and when I fell, he asked me if I was able to see my feet still, because if I was in fact still able to see them, then why was I falling down??

Ummmm, hello husband of mine, this is my first trip down the stairs, you yourself have made 2 {yes TWO} trips down the stairs in the past year. At least I have an excuse, it is called pregnant clumsiness. What about you my dear?

Anyhoo, I now hold on to the railing to prevent future incidents like this one.

Belly Shots {16 Weeks}

I am super duper tired. My two latest pregnancy symptoms are {1} I've become a very light sleeper, if I can sleep at all, and {2} I'm itchy, really really itchy, all over, but especially my tummy.

And of course I still have much of the others. I'm gassy, I pee A LOT, I'm hormonal and get upset easily, I'm always hungry {California rolls at the sushi bar in the Atlantis are the yummiest} my sciatic nerve has become my worst enemy, and I'm clumsy, like falling down the stairs clumsy {which I did do last week, and got to take a fun trip to the ER, I'll tell you more in a later post, don't worry, I'm OK}.

But in fabulous news, my nausea is GONE, all gone!!! WooHOO!!! And my boobies aren't quite as sore, plus I finally got Mitch to admit yesterday that they have grown! Too bad they won't stay grown!!

So , before you think I forgot, here is my latest belly shots.

16 Weeks!!!



And here I once again got "Daddy to be" participation! Hehe, I LOVE it!



Anywhoo, I decided against weekly belly pictures {did I mention that already?} And opted instead for one every 3 or 4 weeks. So the next one will be at 20 weeks! The halfway point! YeeHAW!

Before I go, I wanted to say that I've been waiting to feel the baby move. And everyday I wonder if what I'm feeling in my tummy is the baby or something else. Well, yesterday while watching House with Mitch, I felt a movement slightly to my right side, right where the baby would be, and I just knew. There was no question. I reached down and touched the spot, and smiled. It was so natural. I love the little booger so much already.

Week 13 Ultrasound!

I am seriously LATE in posting my week 13 ultrasound pictures! {Considering that I'm now 15, almost 16 weeks along!} My little sister, who is due within a week of myself, keeps bugging me to post them, but the whole scanning, cropping, editing, uploading, posting.... seemed like a pain in the butt, so I kept putting it off.

Well Danetta, here is your little niece or nephew. {Anybody wanna take a guess at what it's gonna be, I have a poll on my sidebar, see??? Right over there ------>}

Anyhoodle, without further ado, here is the little booger, much bigger than before!



And if you click on the picture it gets bigger, in case you're like me and like LOTS and LOTS of details in all the pictures you look at!!! :o)

The little cutie pie started with it's head on one side and managed to flip around to the other side within the 10 minutes the doctor was peeking inside. Quite an active little turd. On the second picture, the doctor wrote "YO" cause you can just see one leg and two little hands... it was saying hi to mommy and daddy, hehehe!!!

So, that's all for this post. Sorry no new belly shots. There's not really been much of a change, so I'm keeping them to one every few weeks, until I really start showing!! And I promise to try to post more often, I know I've been a slacker, sorry! :o(

Belly Shots {13 Weeks}

Hi! Just a quick post to share my first belly shots! I'm gonna try to post one every week from here on out. I couldn't make myself take them before, but I made it to my second trimester {yippee, I know!!} So I thought I better get started on documenting my growing belly!

So here is 13 weeks!!!



Since I can no longer fit in my regular clothes, me and Mitch went shopping after my ultrasound yesterday and I bought some maternity clothes. Cute huh??

And check out this pic I got Mitch to do with me!



I love it! So so sweet!!!

He agreed to take one every month for the rest of my pregnancy.

Anyhoo, I am tired. So tired I even took a nap today. So a quick little snack then I'm off to bed.

I'll be posting again soon though! I have new ultrasound pics to share. And some little updates! But in the meantime, me and baby are great! I'm so happy I could burst, and I hope all my bloggy friends are good too! :o)

The Doctors went GREAT!!!

I have been meaning to post about my doctors appointment that I had on Tuesday. But I have been even more nauseous than usual, if that is even possible. They call it "morning" sickness, but morning is usually the only time of day I feel OK, then the rest of the day and night is awful. Please please please make the second trimester better!!!!!

OK dok, so, the doctors went great. He did an ultrasound and I got to see the little turd. Here, you can see too.


I don't think you can tell from this pic, but the doctor typed HI MOM DAD, on the screen before he "printed our pictures for our baby book" Mitch really got a kick outta that.

I was so nervous, and to finally be able to see our little baby, and to see the little heartbeat was the most amazing thing. I couldn't stop smiling all day. My doctor said that my nausea is a very good sign of a strong pregnancy. And that everything looks great. So I am still a little scared, but not nearly as much as I was.

Oh, then they gave me a huge goody bag. And by bag I mean a breastfeeding diaper bag, overflowing with stuff. Like diapers, breast pads, cans of formula, a little travel bag, a book, tons of magazines, diaper rash ointment, little bottles to hold breast milk, a weekly journal, a pacifier, coupons and more!!! The thing was heavy, and it was fun to go through.

So my next appointment was supposed to be in 4 weeks, but that is Easter week, and the doc isn't taking patients that week, so we scheduled it for just short of 5 weeks away. That was the only time they had a morning appointment and Mitch really wants to go to as many appointments as possible. He was so adorable and happy, and has been a great husband lately!

I'll have another ultrasound then, because I did have a cyst on my left ovary. The doc says it's probably nothing to worry about, and that by the looks of it, it should go away on it's own. So we'll check it out next time, then proceed from there. He reassured us it was nothing to worry about, so I'm not gonna worry unless I have to!

Anyhoo, I am gonna get this posted for you all!!! Sorry it took me SOOO long!!! Thanks for your sweet comments! :o)

I feel awful... and I miss you!

Really really awful! I have 24 hours a day, 7 days a week nausea. And because of that I NEVER ever feel like blogging anymore. I miss blogging, and all my bloggy friends so so much!

I have super sore boobies, I'm always exhausted, I spend two thirds of my day in bed or on the couch, and the other third in the bathroom peeing, I'm breaking out like crazy, and did I mention the nausea??? But despite all the yucky stuff I am hopeful. I haven't had any cramps. NONE at all!!! And no sign of bleeding.

I'm 8 weeks along, and have my first doctors appointment next Tuesday. One more month and I'll be through the first trimester. I just keep telling myself that I can survive anything as long as this pregnancy gives me a baby.

Keep your fingers crossed for me!!!! I miss you all, and just wanted to quickly update you on what I've been up to. :o)

Ewwwww!

All I gotta say, is the smell of the hamburger meat cooking right now is making me SICK!!! Ughhh.

Back to the kitchen {with my nose covered I might add} to finish breakfast... lunch... dinner??? Whatever the heck it is, for my babers.

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

I missed you too!

Hi!

Have you missed me???

I missed you too! :o)

We are barely two months into 2009 and my life has been filled with so much, everything!!!

I moved to Reno. LOVE my new place. Well besides the kitchen cabinets, they are awful, and scratched. But I'll deal. Our refrigerator that I was cleaning on my last post... clean, but stinky! I have been forbidden from my husband from eating anything that comes out of it! Come on! A girl needs her milk!

It smells moldy. And he thinks that it will hurt the baby.

Did you catch that?

I am pregnant again!!!!!
We are trying not to get our hopes up too much. I'll tell you more in a minute... back to my fridge.

Mitch says we are gonna get a new one. I wish we could make this one work. It is a decent fridge, and I promised him that our next BIG purchase would be his flat screen TV. He wants it so badly. Poor babers. He works so hard for that TV he wants. :o(

I want him to get his TV, so then I can get my furniture... I have a family room now, and guess what? It is totally and completely empty. Except for bar stools, and a halfway ripped apart chair that I really like and am gonna reupholster. I am so excited, it will be my very first time. But I gotta wait until Mitch gets me a *good* staple gun. He has high standards. You know since he used to use one all the time when he installed flooring.

I think my staple gun is lower on the priority list than his TV, {sigh} I feel like I am never gonna get all my projects done. I have so many, and am SUPER duper excited about all of them. YAY!!!

I feel bad that I haven't posted any pictures at all lately. I LOVE pictures. But I don't like ugly pictures. So I found one good one to share. My pretty Valentines Day flowers I got last week. See?




We never celebrate Valentines Day. So I was shocked to find my flowers when I woke up. And I was being such a meanie that morning too, I felt bad.

It was kinda funny, because I called him at midnight {he works graveyards} to ask him to pick me up a sausage and egg mcmuffin, hash brown and orange juice from McDonalds when he got off work in the morning. I was totally craving it and HAD to have it in the morning. It was before we knew I was pregnant, and his coworker asked him if I was pregnant. Shoulda known!!!

So all I was expecting was my breakfast, and getting flowers and breakfast was a perfect start to my day. I just love my babers.

So remember how I told you that my sister Danetta is pregnant again? Well, it turns out that we are only a few days apart in our pregnancies. I hope everything goes good this time for both of us. I think it will be so awesome to have someone so close to me to go through this with. And our kids will be the same age. How cool is that!!!

I am trying so hard to not stress out. But having two miscarriages in the past 6 months is making it hard to not stress out. During the day I decorate, and watch TV, and surf online, and am preoccupied, so the bad thoughts don't creep up so much.

But when I'm laying in bed, it gets harder. And last night I had a dream that I started bleeding, and lost the baby. I had cramps last night, and when I woke up to go pee {yeah, I do that like 2 or 3 times a night} I remembered my dream. It was awful. Because I laid there thinking about everything, and it took forever to fall back asleep.

Plus Mitch keeps freaking out every time I touch my stomach. Asking if I have cramps. And the look on his face makes me feel so bad. Then when I tell him I am fine, it's just mild cramping and normal, he grabs my boobs to see if they still hurt. You see, last time, I woke up on the 14th, and my boobs didn't hurt anymore. And I just knew.... and within a few hours I started bleeding. So I totally do the boob thing every single morning. And even though they hurt SOOOO much, I am grateful, because I take it as a good sign. Go ahead, laugh, I am! It is funny! I am the weird pregnant woman that wants all those crappy symptoms, at least for now.

I have a doctors appointment set up for March 17. I will feel so much better after I see the doctor. I can make it until then. I will.

And until then, I will read your blogs, {because they are all fabulous} decorate my new place, and finish my "time out" bench. I have before pictures, and soon I'll have after pictures. It is so little, and it's gonna be so very cute in my living room. You'll see!!!

Craving Veggies

Believe me, I am quite aware of just how spoiled I am. And to the spoilers Mitch and Dad, I say thank you very much! I get dinner, not just cooked for me, but brought up to my studio, on a plate already salted and peppered just the way I like almost every night. And it is always very yummy! Just take a look at tonight's dinner!
But look a little closer, and you will see something missing....... yep, vegetables. For some reason they are almost never included with any meal, and they are something I have been craving very much lately. Seriously though, who craves veggies?
I did just find out I am pregnant, which you can read all about at this blog, but still, I have never heard of a pregnant woman craving veggies. But hey, go me! At least at this point I am craving healthy foods, and I'm sure it will go away once I am actually getting my recommended servings of vegetables everyday! Anyways, I did go downstairs and make myself some acorn squash to go with tonight's dinner. MMMMMM, feeling much more satisfied now!